The Zero's: A Decade in Review

The zero's, the dough nut's, it was a decade. One that had to follow the 90's which after it's all said and done... I liked a lot better. Don't get me wrong, I liked a lot of the movies that came out over the past ten years just not as much as I have in previous decades.



So what sums up the decade? Well, it was definitely the time when special effects blockbuster type films ruled. Some of these were great, a lot were mediocre and some just down right crappy. Didn't seem to matter they all managed to make a ton of money. Transformers 2 ( Transformers 1 also blew in my book) and Indiana Jones 4 I'm looking in your direction and when I say crappy I mean crappy. And just to depress you... Mission Impossible 2 was the highest grossing film of 2000. Not a good way to start a decade. Read reviews before going people!

The other genre of film that took a surprising lead role with me this decade was comedies. This was one of the surprising bright spots for me with Ben Stiller, The Frat Pack(you know Will Farrel, Owen Wilson, etc.) and Seth Rogen leading the charge. I've always loved comedies and in this area the zero's really managed a solid offering.

So here's a top ten list of my favorite movies of the decade. No real judging criteria, just what entertained me the most.

1. The Dark Knight – Hands down awesome, Batman Begins was great as well.
2. Bad Santa – Hilarious, filthy and a little disturbing but oh so good.
3. Old School – The Frat pack's best in my opinion. There were a lot of funny ones from these guys but this one was an instant classic. Too many good ones from this crew to list really.
4. Super Troopers – One of the greatest opening scenes in comedy history.
5. Kill Bill Vol. 1 – Who doesn't love over the top super stylish cartoon like violence? Especially when it has an interesting story to go with it. Vol. 2 was good but not as good as Vol. 1.
6. Sin City – A film noir parody of epic proportions. Can't wait for the sequel.
7. Traffic – Maybe the best drama of the decade.
8. No Country For Old Men – A great movie, possibly a little artsy for some.
9. Joe Dirt – David Spade as a dirt ball, sweet!
10. Man on Fire – My favorite movie with Denzel Washington.

So that's my top ten. I know there were a lot of other good ones but those are my favorites. Other honorable mentions would be Anchorman, Crash, Napoleon Dynamite, Shawn of the Dead, The Rules of Attraction, Training Day, The Departed, Blood Diamond, Knocked Up, Iron Man and Inglorious Bastards just in case you were looking for something worth seeing(as if you haven't seen 'em all already). I'm sure there were more but that's all I've got for now.

Legion Movie Review

What's with all the religious related movies these days? At least this one doesn't take itself too seriously. Really, how could it with the old lady that swears, the smoking women who's eight months pregnant and cops that like to pretend they're shooting random civilians with their finger. Dennis Quaid and Tyrese Gibson are the recognizable faces along for the ride.

This movies like that but it is to show how far humanity has fallen. It also makes for some ridiculous but funny dialog so long as you don't take it seriously (sometimes it's laugh out loud stupid). So, humanity has fallen so far that God himself has officially grown tired of all of our “bull shit” and has sent angels down to earth to kill us all like the flood in the Noah's Ark story (but a flood of evil angels). Only the birth of a baby at a remote diner that's not supposed to be born can save us and one of the Angels decides to disobey in order to save the child. An okay premise that ultimately leads to some fun action.

And action is what this movie aims for. There's a lot of gun play, fight scenes and (since the angels can't fly in their human bodies) they must arrive to the diner in whatever car they can and then smash. All of them happen to be total pieces of crap(I'm sure not by accident) that the crew must have had a good time destroying.

The movie starts to stall during the beginning part of the second half as they try to explore the characters. It just ends up turning into people sitting around whining about their life. The whole self pity party does get a little annoying and slows the movie down for awhile until the next wave of evil Angels hits. That's pretty much how the movie goes, sit around, talk about something, wave of angels attack. This movie also suffers by getting stuck in one setting. It gets dull to watch people go in and out of one diner for so long.

In the end this is an fun diversion of a movie. It's not outstanding, just okay. It gets a little redundant and the later half of the movie lags. It gets a little painful to watch when they try to take themselves seriously at all and this movie really needed some twist in the plot to drive it through the second half.

Daybreakers Film Review

Daybreakers features Ethan Hawke and William Dafoe in a world where vampires rule! However, this doesn't turn out as well for the vampires as one might think. The main problem is that there are so many vampires that they've hunted the human race to the brink of extinction. They desperately need human blood or they'll quickly become physically deformed and mentally deranged.



This is where Ethan Hawke comes in. He's a vampire looking for a cure for a huge vampire pharmaceutical company. The company doesn't really care about a cure, just making money and they figure a human blood substitute would be better for repeat business. Ethan Hawke has sympathy for the humans and eventually finds his cure with the help of some regular warm blooded humans. The head of the pharmaceutical company tries to stop them from delivering the cure.

This is a descent movie with an interesting concept. The pacing however is a little on the slow slide but on the plus side there are some fun action scenes that break up the movie. These action scenes get a little outlandish at times but it's a vampire movie so it's to be expected. Some of the violence is over the top but again this is a vampire movie.

William Dafoe is probably the movie's most interesting character delivering the most memorable lines. There isn't a lot of dialog in this movie and what is there isn't all that great but this fits the tone of the film. Almost all the dialog used is used just to push the narrative forward.

It's also funny to note that Dafoe, who's a custom car builder, has the same Trans Am as in “Smokey and the Bandit”. Run Bandit Run!

Avatar Review

The long and the sort of it is that “Avatar” isn't the most original story but manages to succeed through it's execution. I know this review is coming a little late but I was sort of avoiding another big special effects type extravaganza after not being able to sit through “2012” or “Terminator Salvation”.

The basic plot is that a big company hires mercenaries to boot the natives from their homes so they can mine the crap out of it. At first they try to do it the most diplomatic way communicating through the avatars that look just like the aliens but are controlled by people. This is how they try to convince them to leave. A marine who has no use of his legs gets dropped into this environment just because his brother was training for the role, died and he fits a similar genetic profile to plug into the avatar. Eventually he falls in love with one of the natives and their lifestyle. And yes, it does end in the huge action set piece we all saw coming ten million miles away.

The movie first off is visually amazing. I liked the art direction even though the color palette reminded me a little bit of the video game “Halo”. There's a lot going on in most of the shots with action working on many planes along the z-axis making the shots visually titillating. I'm a sucker for movies with a sense of depth and I regret not seeing this in 3D. See “2001: A Space Odyssey” for a solid sense of depth in film, in fact the whole movie is tied together with that aesthetic. It's not as over blown in “Avatar” but still there.

Now about the theme, first off you're not going to like this movie if you're favorite show is “American Loggers” on Discovery. The reality is that this movie and it's theme are pretty hippyish and the natives are total “Triggers”(Tree + Hugger = Trigger, for those who didn't know). The basic theme is that the natural world is what's real and that human/materialistic society is a bunch of destructive BS. I liked this theme even though it's been done. During parts of this movie I couldn't help but hear Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt in “Fight Club”) say “In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.” Okay, so it's not quite that over blown but there none the less. I also remember some Disney movie where little fairies could talk to trees and feel their pain when loggers were coming in and chopping it all down. This is a lot like “Avatar” as well.

The plot is pretty straight forward aside from the whole avatar thing, which seems a lot like being plugged into the Matrix. When they unplug avatars they drop just like in “The Matrix”. The plot has the standard love story and battle between the invading humans and native aliens that was inevitable. I'm also pretty sure you could rip this plot off from most high school history books. I'm not saying the overall plot was bad, just not super original. Where the movie does shine is with some of the sub-plots. I completely enjoyed the detour where the main character must bond with a dragon type creature and learn to fly it. This is exactly like breaking a horse and for a minute I think I'm watching some out of this world western, expecting Clint Eastwood to pop out of somewhere. However, some things could have used further explanation. Like, why are the mountains able to ignore the laws of gravity? I guess the movie was just too long as it was.

In summation this is an entertaining film. The story isn't going to blow you're mind but it's still fun. A few parts start to drag but not that many. I only found my mind wandering once or twice throughout the film. James Cameron knows how to fill out a story enough with cool little detours/details to keep me interested and the visual execution was great. Cameron also made it so I was emotionally invested in the characters to at least some degree. Overall, nothing in this movie pissed me off or insulted my intelligence and that's a good thing. More than what I can say for most movies these days. I'm going to forgive “Unobtanium”(cheesy name) assuming that whatever corporation was mining it named it... “The IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks” ... ha!

The Book of Eli Movie Review

So what can I say about “The Book of Eli” that you don't already know from seeing the trailer? Well, it's a “road movie”, you know those very typical type of movies where the main character or characters spend the duration of the movie trying to get from point A to point B. There are a lot of these types of movies like “The Wizard”, “The Lord of the Rings”, “Thelma and Louise”, etc, etc.

Basically Denzel Washington needs to get the Bible to the west coast in a post apocalyptic world for no better reason than that his faith tells him he should. This reminds me a lot of the movie “The Wizard” where Fred Savage and his handicapped brother set out for California just because his handicapped brother has an unknown desire to go. Don't pretend like you don't remember this movie, it's the one about Nintendo. Awesome!

Gary Oldman wants the Bible for his own more greedy purposes and they fight over it. That pretty much sums up the plot. Mila Kunis is in there as my friend Billy so eloquently put it to “spread hotness throughout the land”.

So first the good then the bad. The ultra violent scenes in this movie are really well shot and really entertaining. The cinematography is solid and the action scenes are tight and exciting. That's about it for the good.



Now onto the bad! In between the action sequences there really isn't much that happens. In fact aside from the movie's violent outbursts it's rather boring. The movie also fails to capture the real desperation of a world where you're forced to eat people to survive. Maybe it was because I just saw “The Road” with Viggo Mortensen (which was truly intense) or maybe it's because every main character has a bright shiny new pair of Oakley sunglasses. Seriously Denzel barters water for wet naps from KFC (the shop keep is amazed to see wet naps) yet everyone can manage to keep the lenses of their shades scratch and dirt free while kung fu fighting in the desert. When I say WTF I mean WTF? Also, there isn't really any worthwhile dialog to the whole film. If you're a fan of good solid dialog look elsewhere. The best line in the film is borrowed from Johnny Cash.

I guess this is the part where I give you the trailer to the movie I'm reviewing but... to hell with it, here's a clip from “The Wizard”. Imagine Denzel Washington in this role and you've got it!

$30 Million For A Trailer?

By now I'm sure most people that pay attention to the film industry have seen the short called “Ataque de Panico!" or "Panic Attack!". If you haven't seen it you should watch it, it's very well made and extremely entertaining with special effects that seem to be on par with Hollywood. I'm also going to assume that you're aware that it's producer netted a $30 million dollar deal with Sam Raimi and Ghost House Pictures.



What strikes me the most about this short is that it doesn't feel like I'm watching a short. In fact it's nothing like any of the shorts I've ever seen. So I start thinking about what it does remind me of and that is... a trailer! I'm not trying to put down “Panic Attack!” because I did enjoyed it and am amazed with both the production and entertainment value of such a low budget piece (about $300). It's a lot more than I could do with $300 and if it were a trailer to a movie I'd absolutely be excited about seeing it. That being said, it still feels like more of a long movie trailer than a short.



There's not much story to "Panic Attack!" except the cliché of aliens attacking and no theme to speak of that I can see. The short that “District 9” is based on has a lot more of a theme and a lot more of a story. I can see the "District 9" director (Neill Blomkamp) actually pulling a deal from his short just because they had a lot more to base a movie on. Not to say that we know for sure "Panic Attack!" will be the basis for the actual movie as part of the $30 million dollar deal. Also, I dare you to compare “Panic Attack!” to the "Independence Day" trailer and come away without seeing any similarities.



So what's the point? The point is how does one go about getting their own $30 Million dollar deal? Maybe the answer to that is just make a trailer to a movie that doesn't exist, one that gets everyone excited about seeing the non-existent movie and then maybe Hollywood will give you the funds to actually make the thing.

It's not a bad idea and don't tell me producers in Hollywood don't think just like that. One important question production companies always ask when deciding to purchase a script is, “Will the movie have trailer moments?” If your short is just an awesome trailer full of trailer moments then the answer will undoubtedly be “Yes”! So why not just make a really cool trailer and let the audience's demand get the film made? It could be worth a shot!